Do crazy people know that they are crazy? This question I have seen countless times on forums around the web and the answer is not a simple yes or no. Like everything else on this site I will try and give my perspective on this particular topic.
There are times when I am flying high and feel like I am on top of the world where I feel like I am the most level headed person in the world then something happens and the shock of reality hits where I realize that during these periods I had very little if any control over my behavior.
There are times when I am well aware of my current mental condition and the number of labels (monsters) that I am battling on a daily basis. From a clinical standpoint I meet the definition of someone who is mentally unwell hence crazy. Although when I am in this specific state of mind is when I am actually my safest for I tend to be in complete control and analyze (a blessing and a curse) everything to the smallest degree
There are times when my brain is basically rocketing into the land of very big trouble and although I know it is taking place there is very little that I can actually do about it and during these times to put it bluntly I feel insane. Trying to prevent a panic attack and trying to reason with your mind that although self harm sounds like a wonderful solution the long term effects of this decision tends to lead back to the land of very big trouble. In this state I know that I am crazy and behaving and thinking in a crazy manner and it seems the only real decision I have is to direct the speeding car into that brick wall or approaching semi truck and regardless of the choice that I make it is going to hurt.
Do crazy people know that they are crazy? In my case some of the time.
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I explained to a specialist in mood disorders that I went through a period during my breakdown where I knew my behavior and thinking were not normal but I seemed unable to change any of it. I was totally out of control. She called this soft psychosis.
right now i know i am crazy, with impending crazier
I’ve spent a lot of time in out-of-control mode, only aware that I didn’t like all the rage, tension and misery. I pushed the blame on others and got furious at the suggestion that there was something wrong with me. Over the years, I got more honest and aware and could usually catch my thinking before it went too far. But there were so many purely paranoid days when I was absolutely convinced that people were out to get me and even persuaded my wife that some of these incidents were based in fact. So, like you, sometimes yes, sometimes no. More recently I’ve been so much better and hope all that’s behind me.
John