Yesterday I discussed how letter writing can help someone to overcome grief and today we will look at how letter writing can be used as a way for someone to confront their abusers. Similar to the grief letter this gives the person a chance to say all that they wanted to without actually confronting the abuser. Below is a fictitious letter that I created to illustrate what this tool may include. For those who are triggered by abuse or talk of abuse chances are you should avoid the below letter.
To My Abuser: Childhood is suppose to be a time of innocence yet you took that away from me. I have spent so much time trying to figure out what that I did wrong that would provoke you to do the things that you did to me and I have realized that it was not my fault for that solely lies on you. Your actions produced countless nightmares that have followed me through out my life. I use to fantasize about killing you for maybe it would return all that you took away but I have come to realize that what you took from me was power and by writing this letter I am taking the power back. I hate you but I forgive you.
I am a huge believer in the power of free writing and that by emptying your soul on to a piece of paper or a computer screen can help people to overcome all of the troubles and the difficulties that they face. The letter writing exercises are wonderful tools that should be in every mental health professions bag of tricks. take care.
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As part of my therapy I wrote many letters to my abuser. It was very therapeutic for me. I look at it occasionally and see how much anger and pain there was in the earliest letters, and how much I’d come to terms with the events in my later letters. I’d recommend this to anyone who has been abused.
I agree! It’s a great therapeutic tool. I’ve written my abusers several times and it always helps.