I joined a few groups when I began this blog for two purposes: (1) To strength my support circle (2) To get my blog to what I thought was the intended audience. The first thing that happened is a number of people had a problem with the name untreatable for it sound and looks like from the surface that I do not believe there is any chance that I will ever get better and back to what is considered normal. I tried a couple of times to explain that the word untreatable for me was a reminder of what was in front of me and what I needed to overcome but I could understand their problem with that particular label.
To be honest at times that word untreatable bugs the heck out of me and I remember when it showed up in my doctors vocabulary when talking about me. Basically he said that I would have high points where everything would be going according to plan and then I would have down periods which may lead to hospitalization where they would level me back out and the cycle would start again. I asked about different treatments for borderline personality disorder that are out there and he gave me this odd look. To me I could think I was making incredible progress but it would not be real just a shift in perception. My brain being the way it is added all of what he was telling me and there was that word untreatable. Instead of putting the desire to change into me the doctor told me to get use to that.
Obviously I do not listen very well and this blog was born from it. No one knows the inner working of my brain like I do, no one knows my history as intimate as I do so I figured the best person to fix those loose nuts was me. Instead of doing it nice and quietly I chose to share my battle with whoever crosses these pages and to be completely honest there are days when I have fantasized of being 100% “cured” and throwing this blog at my doctors face.
Am I untreatable? Guess that is the question here and the simple answer is no. I do not believe there is a untreatable mental illness out there. I know there are people who have an awful lot on their plate but even if they make a couple of steps towards recovery then it eliminates that untreatable label. Some of us are hard to figure out but eventually someone is going to do it. The key is to never give up and keep trying to improve for if you only make an inch of progress that is more then you had the day before. There are times when it seems like the easiest thing to do is just throw in the towel and let the illness win but this is not an option nor should it ever be.
Right now I am dealing with a depression that is kicking my ass. From the damage created in the last couple of weeks staying off the psych ward is going to be a neat trick and there is a part of me that wants to just let whatever happens happen. Maybe this sudden downward spiral is leading to an intervention and a change in treatment that I can not do on my own, maybe this is a sign that mentally I need to recharge and let someone else do the dirty work for a while. I have no idea where my life is going at the moment so the resurrection of self harm may actually be a blessing in disguise. To there is always a reason in every part of our daily lives but sometimes we need to stop and look around in order to see the big picture.
I am untreatable but I am not untreatable
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There should be more people like you. Well done.
I consider treatable and curable to be two different things. I believe mental illness is always treatable in that it can be dealt with more easily and the effects can be lessened through self-awareness, stress management, medication etc. Curable, however, suggests to me that one would no longer have any illness to deal with.
I have accepted my OCD may be incurable but never untreatable.
Beautifully written. Having recently gone through a period that I wanted to lay down and let me disease take control, I needed to read this today.
I agree with you. People do not like the word untreatable but unfortunately for most this is the reality. I know in my case it is the reality. I can manage it at times but it’s not going to be cured.
I’ve been going through a really terrible moment of depression as well and this was a great read that I needed.
Incurable maybe. Untreatable no. Makes sense to me.