Can’t think of a better word to describe my current mental state then disconnected. I seem to be in this fog and I see everything that is going on around me but it feels like a dream. Maybe my brain is tired of the depression so wants to take a little vacation. The problem of course is that when you let your brain just wander off it goes where ever it want to and trying to reel it back in can be rather difficult. People who self harm deal with this using the blade or the pain to prove to themselves that they are still alive. The problem with depression is that it slowly eats you alive and normally when you realize that you may be in trouble this monster has such a strong hold on your soul the process of regaining control is difficult. Everyone has warning signs that they may or may not realize and it is important to keep these in mind so you can act quickly and nip it in the butt before it can become overwhelming. I tend to spend a lot of time in bed, tend to basically stop eating and spend to much time trying to convince myself that I am fine. Trying to put what you are feeling and thinking down on paper is a rather neat trick for the concept of concentration is gone right out the window which this post probably illustrates . Take care.
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