There are days that I am on top of the world, that nothing can touch me and I am basically invincible. All of the regular rules of life do not apply to me for I well above the normal standard. I drive as fast as I want and live every day second to second not thinking about the future but all that matters is right now. It is nice to feel that you are invincible the problem is its a major indicator that you are in trouble … big trouble. Manic can feel so good after you have spent time in the gutters of depression and for some they purposely seek out these feelings by not taking their medication but unfortunately when this tidal wave of positive feeling ends the fall seems like your world just ended. Going from invincible to struggling to get out of the darkness hurts something awful. One of the most difficult parts of my disorder is not knowing if my next moment I am going to be on top of the world or under it, I have said it before and I will say it again all I want is my moods to be consistent and all of the ups and downs completely removed which I guess is basically zombie status. Take care.
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Thank you for such an inside vulnerable view. My family has a lot of bipolar diagnoses running through it, and I have only struggled with depression. People writing candidly about their experiences helps me understand.
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