I was thinking that there are a lot of blogs and lists out there on how to overcome depression but I do not remember any on how to actually make your depression worse. The whole reverse psychology thing comes to mind here that or maybe I have finally lost my mind anyway on with the list.
1. Completely isolate yourself – One of the worse things that you can do is complete cut off all ties with society so your completely alone with your own thoughts. Wonderful idea and boy does it leave a mark.
2. Believing the depression is going to go away on its own – This may work with cases of the blues where the person just needs a little bit of time and a Kleenex box to work through it but this will not work with Major Depressive Disorder. The solution might be medication or therapy or a combination of the two but the second you sit back and wait the illness is going to kick your butt.
3. Refusing to accept there is a problem – Ever had a car that was making a funny noise up front that you pretended was not there then the next thing you know it your in some garage with the credit card out and tears running down your face? Yep mental illness works the same way. Push to the side all of those little warning signs instead of catching it early will cost you in the long run.
4. Taking it on by your self – Facing these demons on your own may seem like the manly thing to do but it is also one of the dumbest. A major difference in recovery is how strong your support system is and it is okay to reach out asking for help as it may in the end save your life. Can’t tell your friends of your struggle then reach out to the online forums and groups where there are tons of people who understand what you are going through.
5. Believing medication alone is going to solve your depression issue – This one is bound to piss someone off but at least in my opinion it is true. Medication is good for making the symptoms have less impact where then you can get the real work done either through a therapist or even on your own through various blogs, websites, groups and the list goes on. Like I have always said medication makes therapy possible.
Well that is it for me as the game is about to begin. Just keep in mind depression is a very real life threatening illness but it is also treatable. Take care.
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I’ve tried reaching out, even to counselors at my college, but no one is helping. I still feel awful.
Worse, Better, get rid of it entirely, all miss the possibility that you can get to a point that you see the richness and lessons in it and don’t mind. That does not mean that the pain goes away, but that you have grown beyond the need to avoid it. There is a great book called The Depression Advantage that is about spiritual growth and the role that depression can play in it. The author talks about the lives of many saints that said that the pain was still there, but had lost its impact on their reactions to it.
Saint Teresa of Avila said her extreme physical pain is what helped her to become a saint, Saint John of the Cross said it was the spiritual pain, for Saint Anthony it was mental pain and hallucinations, Saint Francis had emotional and physical pain, Milarepa, a Buddhist Saint said it was emotional pain that did it for him. None of them talked about avoiding it and most were in pain until their last breaths. I would accept trade my pain for their realization.
http://www.depressionadvantage.com
anonymous I am sorry that you are having difficult obtaining help but it is important that you keep trying. Forums such as http://www.healthboards.com and http://www.crazyboards.com can be a great resource. Unfortunately without knowing your location I can not provide you with a more specific resource that may be out there for you.
Cathy – thanks for taking the time to comment. I guess it goes back to the old saying “what does not kill us only makes us stronger”. Thanks for the link and I will be sure to check it out.
I find medication to be extremely helpful. It isn’t for everyone, but Prozac works fine for me. Been taking it for over 2 years now. Minimal dosage. I also get a LOT of therapy so I’ve become educated on management of my disease. This is paramount for recovery. I also attend a 12 step group where I am comfortable and have friends with similar issues. The Prozac keeps me from totally tanking, but I still get depressed and can ‘see’ it and understand patterns of thinking that trigger it. I am ever so gradually changing my lifestyle to accommodate my illness rather than be a victim of it.
I am also in constant pain with several afflictions. This, alone, can make me depressed. I meditate and manage my symptoms, but also have bad days and take heavy meds. I have no belief at all that pain is good for ones spirit… quite the contrary. It totally removes even the simplest pleasures of living… not good.
Be Well
Cathy,
Ideas like those propagated in the book you suggest are a major contributing factor to the stigma faced by those affected by mental illness. Society’s idea that ‘what doesn’t hurt you makes you stronger’ is often what stands between a person with depression and effective treatment, and recommending that someone use their mental illness for spiritual growth is on par with suggesting that someone leave their cancer untreated because it will deepen their understanding of mortality.
It’s true that many saints and geniuses were mentally ill, but they hardly made up the majority of the afflicted. For every person who felt enlightened by a condition like schizophrenia or depression, I’m sure there were hundreds or thousands who lived in crippling pain, possibly even taking their own lives. Suggesting spiritual transcendence as a course of treatment for mental illness is irresponsible at best, and dangerous at worst.
We need to encourage and enable those who need help to seek and receive that help without the risk of being considered weak or spiritually immature by their peers.
great blog, and so true…
Depressions can be treated successfully, no doubt about that. What makes a depression so painful are the discomforting emotions.
I believe there are many valid approaches to healing, but I’d like to point to one of the most basic yet powerful forms of therapy – which is having someone really listening to you while you talk about your situation, feelings and thoughts…
Sometimes there is just no choice.
Thank you for pointing out that medication alone will not fix it. I try to teach clients this all the time. I tend to think of depression like diabetes. If you have diabetes and take an insulin pill, but continue to sit on the couch all day, do not exercise, do not change your eating habits and do not lose that extra 50 pounds, the pill will only work so well. The same is true of depression. If you take the medication, but do not get out of the house, do not change your diet, do not get adequate sleep, do not engage in meaningful activities and do not eliminate stressors, the pill can only do so much.
Thank you for a great article.
I think people greatly overlook the benefit of medicine. Therapy is great, when there’s nothing wrong with you. Like the person that said “diabetes can only be medicated so much” they totally overlook type 1 diabetes, where the person CAN’T recover from not being able to produce insulin. Most type 1 diabetics are of low weight, get sleep, and have to rigourously control their diet, TAKE THEIR INSULIN, or else they will DIE.
Claiming all depression can be treated with therapy is at best misleading, at worst wrong. All th evidence points to a 40% effectiveness of therapy. Great, now what about the other 60%? Medication, ECT, every other therapy brings that number to a total of 80-90% being treated. What do you tell the last ten who’ve tried everything, and science, religion, community CANNOT help them?
I believe therapists greatly exaggerate their successes with depression. They seem to think the patients who come to them have nothing to lose.
But if someone’s depression is the result of, say, a metabolic disorder, I’m personally convinced that rumination can make things worse for the patient.
My last hospital admission the doctors asked the normal questions about major stressors in my life which there were not any except for my battle with mental illness. They finally figured out (after three years) that my depression does have environmental and situation elements to it a large part is chemically induced.
As for drugs and therapy my turn to line is “medication makes therapy possible” take care
drink, prob'ly do drugs (not sure about that any more as I quit 20 years ago), don't exercise, eat poorly…I'm not sure, but I tried alll of those things after doing the opposite for eight months or so, and I went right back down. Oh! How could I forget stress? Get yourself into a stressful situation you don't want to be in. Personally, I went back to school to finish my BA after 15 years off. Then, naturally, all of the other things mentioned began to creep back in gradually until I was fucked again. Oh, and by all means stop going too the doctor — any kind.
This is not meant to be mean; this is actually my life. I am still taking my Cymbalta almost every day though.
I'm so sick of hearing the words “depression is treatable“. This is simply not true for a large percentage of those who are depressed.
Yes it gives hope to those who are newly depressed.
Unfortunately many of us who have had zero help from ANY form of therapy are sick of hearing this. It is a way of stringing patients along and eventually blaming the patient.
Here's a hard truth: Some people's brain circuitry puts them in profound state of suffering that will be incurable for another 20 years.
These people will either have to stick it out and endure years of agony, or kill themselves. Making light of this fact is belittling.
I am one of these people. Despite an absolutely perfect life, I have severe untreatable insomnia the result of which is constant hellish depression.
I have chosen not to kill myself. But it is an extremely hard road, and no matter how good my life gets someday I doubt that it will ever have been worth the suffering.
So spare me the “message of hope“ bullshit. I'm sick of it.
You can't blame people for wanting to have hope. Without hope, I would have been lost years ago. Instead I'm persueing an education to provide that hope to those with mental illnesses. I've lived a life full of issues surrounding mental illness, some of them my own, and some of them dear friends of mine, and the one thing that is universal is that they all seek hope. They all need hope.
Maybe I'm just an optimist, but some of the best treatment out there that I've seen is the powerful healing that is HOPE.
Living like this is no joke, i have no feelings for those around me. Its hard to see your husband trying to love you saying he loves you…that suppose to make it easier, but the on the only thing that gets me through the day is the chance to self harm – the warm blood running down your arm and the euphoria the constant of suicing never leaves you. But the fear of trying, if the failing and then be put back in an insitute again, no medicine, no talking to doctors help…i kneed to find a way out of this hell hole without the happy happy crap that people blurb on anout…get real if you are feeling so happy why are you on this blog?
I don't know what the answer is to solving the depression mystery which should be plain to see by now. There is no one answer when it comes to treating depression as it seems to differ from case to case. Through my experience with depression I do know what does not work which was the purpose of this post which I wrote almost a year ago. What I do know is that if choose not to fight the depression than you are going to lose and it is going to get worse. Hope is a powerful thing even if you have to lie to convince yourself that recovery does exist. Take care
i understand that you may have to lie to yourself, i have been "faking" as much as my body and mind can cope – i fail most times! i have to otherwise i might be put back into hospital(i was there for a year and a half until i signed myself out). i hear what you are saying about having to lie to yourself, but i have no more energy to lie to myself after the facade i have to put on for everyone else facade! l
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