I grew up in an area where most kids underwent some form of abuse at home so I just figured it to be more normal. Kids use to come to school and brag about the ass kicking they took the night before almost like it was a game. The abuse was never hidden and all the teachers knew what was going on but I guess they thought it was not their place to step in or call the authorities.

One day when I was in grade four a lady came to the class and talked about child abuse and how that it was wrong. This counselor said if anyone of use were being abused that we needed to find a adult we trusted as we should not be treated this way. Well the lady left and I caught a beating that day after school by the babysitter so I thought what the lady had said earlier that day. I couldn’t tell my parents for chances are I would get my butt kicked again for not “behaving” at the babysitters so the only real person left was my fourth grade teacher.

I summed up the courage and when all the kids went out for recess I explained what happened, asked what to do and showed her the marks across my back. This teacher looked at me and replied “Well if you learn how to listen and behave better then this sort of thing would not happen”. I didn’t know what to say so I just nodded and left the classroom to head outside. I tried the same approach with another “responsible” adult at a latter date and came up with the same response so I just stopped trying after that.

The fourth grade was also when my self harm history unofficially began as I use to create burn marks on my arms using erasers. What was the purpose? I was punishing myself in the hope that it would make me “good” so people would leave me alone. Needless to say it did not work.

One of the main reasons I entered Social Work was because of the fourth grade incident. I wanted to be in a place where when someone needed help I would not only be there but I would know what to do. Have a funny feeling a good number of mental health professionals chose this field for the same reason.

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