Last week a question showed up in the comment section of this little ole blog and I have been struggling to write about it ever since. The question was basically how does my prior occupation as a mental health worker effect my current situation. The simple answer is it probably hurts more then it helps but the explanation why is not so easy but I am going to give it a shot …. again.
1. The standard approach nurses and other mental health professionals use regularly does not work on me so either they need to find a new way of taking on the problem or just take the easy route and ignore me. The latter happened a lot more often and I have a funny feeling it is all about ego. Various workers are use to the clients believing everything they say whether it is appropriate or not. This does not work with me as my education, experience in the field and my own perception knows better. A typical approach of all you have to do is focus on the positive and charge forward may make sense to someone who has never dealt with mental illness before but unfortunately I am all to familiar with the reality of poor negative mental health and it is no where near that simple.
2. This ties into the first one and probably has something to do with the Borderline Personality area of my brain. I find myself constantly analyzing the helpers approach and spend too much time deciding whether or not if that is the approach I would have used instead of actually listening to what the person is saying or trying to say.
3. What I represent. Mental health workers have a pretty good chance of suffering burn out sometime during their career and to a lot of other helpers I am a reality that they would rather pretend did not exist.
4. There are small areas of dealing with mental health that the newbie can just ignore and keep going, something I am not able to do. I pretty much recognize every symptom of mental health as an indicator of a larger problem which ends up setting me back in terms of recovery. For example someone new to the situation may have a small bout which they may think of as a deja vu experience and just let it go where I see it as an indicator of psychosis which my brain can’t let go and I end up building it up into a much larger problem. The whole ignorance is bliss applies here
5. One of the most difficult parts of my illness is a simple question that tends to haunt me. The question is “How come I can help darn near anyone who crosses my path yet when it comes to my own brain I am basically useless?”. The answer is simple as it is all about attachment and emotion which I fully recognize but still does not make the question go away. I am able to analyze the hell out of my mind, the various thought processes and anything that is not quite right but my hands seem to be tied when it comes to treatment. My gift and my curse according to the doctor.
At the end of the last hospital stay I wrote a letter to the nursing staff which basically thanked them for trying to help and I even went to the length of naming certain staff members and expressing gratitude for specific situations. A line from that letter was “As a former mental health professional I did not come into the hospital expecting special treatment I just wanted help”.
Related posts:
- PBS’s Depression Special
- The Difficulty Of Treatment
- The No No List Regarding Treatment Of The Mentally Unwell
- Another Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder – Article
- Hemroids Best Treatment
- How Do I Tell My Parents
- For One Family, Decision to Reject Treatment Ends With Tragic Death – Article
- The Fear Of Treatment
- Forced Mental Health Treatment
- New Guidelines for Treatment of Depression
Well, I stumbled across your post on a weekend and found it remarkable. It shows courage. It shows insight. And, I would think, it could provide some relief as “journaling” usually does? I’m not a mental health professional. In my own life, what has helped me is meditation, prayer, and doing Tai Chi. I wish you well.
Thanks for the comments. This blog is definitely a form of self therapy for me
Wow…what a post
Did you hear about the latest studies finding that current antidepressants don’t work? Pretty interesting…I just did a post on it today.
Hey, I just relaunched my site at foodspark.com I would love you to come by and check it out sometime. If you ever have anything to contribute, it is a community blog.
Cindy
I just came across your blogging and I too have been on both sides of the fence. I worked as a social worker for many years and then after a serious of events I ended up having a breakdown and as an inpatient.
For a number of years I could not let go of the fact that I once had a large active case load and colleagues who were now my care givers.
What has finally helped me to move past and learn to cope with PTSD, OCD, DPD and without pills, was to finally except that I was not a worker anymore. That was my past. I also have excepted that life is liquid, always changing and continues to flow. You can either swim against the current and still hang on to the you of the past that is gone, or learn to move forward and go with the flow.
I also find your screen name to be self defeating.
What’s the point in writing all this info, etc., when you have given yourself a name of no hope.
Forget about all those fucked up SSRIs and go smoke a joint. You’ll feel better!
Psychiatry, as you probably know, is full of shit and most people who work in the field are incompetent and burnt out. Lots are abusive, too.
Smoke weed,get it from the fed gov!