I have an addictive personality and this is something I recognized a long time ago so I am pretty careful around anything that can become habit forming for the most part. A part of this lead to this blog at first it was just a way to release all the pent up garbage I carry with me and the hope someone will understand but pretty soon it grew to an obsession. Checking the traffic sites on an hourly basis and trying to figure out new ways to find new readers but like the majority of my life there was no much reason behind this drive. I don’t make money off of this blogs so what difference does it make if I get one visitor per day or a thousand. The simple justification is the more people who read it then maybe it will leave a mark on a number of people which then may lead to the better treatment of the mentally ill but like the majority of my logic there are a number of holes to this theory and the knowledge knowing I have set a goal that can not be measured at least with any accuracy.
Then the obsession with this blog was gone and quickly replaced with a new addiction. Now my days are spent creating what I hope to be a blanket by the end of April. I learned how to crochet when I was working in a jail for young offenders and there is something therapeutic in the process of creating something from nothing plus I am constantly counting the next row so my mind does not have an opportunity to wander which is basically what the doctor ordered.
The problem with my so called addictions is I never know how long they will last for and my residence is full of projects that will never see completion. In a way it is like my life as I have all the best intentions in the world when it comes to recovery but I never see it completely through as something always will happen that will throw me off course and once I lose sight of the final goal then that is it until I can figure out how to restart the process again. Once again I am my biggest enemy or monster. Mind you I am not the only one guilty of this and the amount of money that people throw at self improvement and weight loss programs backs this up.
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I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I start a lot a side projects that usually don’t get finished… including a very lovely blanket.
Is this a manifestation of mental illness or simply the fact that you are an Aries! I think all of us Rams are a little like that. Hold nose…jump in feet first…become one minded about it…realize its pointless and there are so many other things you’d like to try and do…give it up for the next shiny pretty thing you see. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I understand the nature of your dilemma and this is what I’d recommend you consider. Make a list of 20-30 of these little projects that you currently wish to complete. Give top priority to ten and then pick three of these that you want to bring to life. As you prioritize your top three projects, break down each pet project into a series of tasks. Only tackle two to three of these personal pet projects at a time; most importantly, don’t take on any new projects until another project is totally complete. This will give you a sense of accomplishment as you complete a project before proceeding to the next.
This takes discipline and commitment, but with this system you can maintain some flexibility by constantly adding or deleting pet projects from your list. Although your list of priorities is flexible you can still change them as you see fit. It’s good to see that you are channeling your creativity; I am trying to bring some of my own quirky ideas into the realm of existence using this same strategy. You may be quirky; however, at least you recognize the internal workings of your mind—many people do not.
Good luck,
Your Wandering Mind