I was on a forum today on a popular dating site where the discussion was on Borderline Personality Disorder and it was a good reminder how the so called “normal” people of society view this disorder. Almost all of the post were negative and they went on and on about how this one person in their lives left them in a bad place. If it stopped there I more then likely would not have had an issue with it but these people were taking one person and then deeming everyone who has this disorder in the same light which is not only wrong but incredibly stupid. This is like saying there was a mother who had postpartum depression who turned around and butchered her kids must mean that every single person with the same disorder is going to do the exact same thing. Just because one person treated you poorly does not give you the right to judge everyone else who has to live with that disorder. I thought I was doing the right thing by posting my view which basically said there is a scale to every disorder and the people at one end are not the same as the people on the other end so one should be open before slamming the door shut. Which I believe makes sense but you would think that I insulted their intelligence with the responses that came from it, mind you for the most part most of them ruled out all doubt of their IQ level by opening their mouths, all sorts of garbage like Borderline is set in stone and there is no chance of recovery or change so why even bother to take the chance. To believe their statements I would personally have to forget everything I have ever learned in school, everything that I have observed of Borderline Personality Disorder people taking control of their lives and making massive improvements, every psychological study ever completed and of course my own personal journey. This one lady and boy do I use that term lightly said when a former partner is able to say she went out with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and never realized he had it until the latter stages of the relationship then she will believe that Borderline Personality Disorder is treatable, that sound you hear is her zipper as she is pulling her pants back up as she was speaking out of her ass.
One experience has left her completely judgmental and apparently able to write off everyone that shares the same diagnosis and she is not alone which is the scary part. Doctors, nurses, therapists have volumes of so called professionals who believe the same thing and it does not take you long to figure out which is which. The treatment of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is not easy and I will never say it is but with the right attitude by both patient and “professional” and a lot of hard work anything is possible but being surrounded by people who will slam you because of three little letters make this battle into a war.
Everyone I meet they find out very quickly that I suffer from a variety of mental illnesses not because my behavior dictates it but because I tell them upfront. Mental illness is part of my life and is something that requires a lot of my attention to keep it going in a positive way but at the same time it does not define who I am as a person. If for whatever the reason this scares them off then so be it and to me it is better to find out sooner then later. If the person can not deal with the fact that I am not perfect then I do not need them in my life and to be completely honest I do not want them in my life.
I am a good person with a huge heart who has dedicated my life to helping others, I have helped countless people get their lives back on track through my work in the field and advice I provide on various forums around the web. I have had a number of people approach and thank me for saving their lives which makes me very uncomfortable as I am doing what any decent human being would have done in the same situation which is help someone in need. Oh yeah I forgot to mention I am textbook Borderline Personality Disorder which means I am not capable of the before mentioned achievements because it would shoot the theory full of holes that the people who suffer from this disorder are evil and only care about themselves. Don’t judge the book by the cover, take the time and see what lays inside before making your conclusion as this is what you would hope someone would do with you. It is bad enough I have to fight my disorders but having to fight society every step of the way takes way to much of my energy but if I sit back and not say a word then it will continue so I hope the message I send reaches someone and alters their perception a bit. Making small minds grow.
Incoming search terms:
- judgemental people poems
- judgemental personality
- poems about judgmental people
- poems on judgemental people
- poems about judgemental people
- poem on judgemental people
- my experience with bpd
- judgemental personality disorder
- a poem for judgemental people
- judgemental people poetry
Related posts:
- Reading People
- The Funny People In White Coats
- What People Are Searching For
- Less sun more depression for people with SAD – ARTICLE
- Famous People With Mental Illness
- CNN Article – Insights on why people ‘snap’ and kill
- BPD Did You Know
- BPD Awareness Month – The Borderline Personality Disorder Test
- How To Tell Someone That They Have Borderline Personality Disorder
- Mental Health Diagnosis
I’ve come to view people with BPD as tending to either be “acting in” or “acting out.” By acting in, I mean they tend to harm themselves. Taking it to an extreme, they might manage to kill themselves by suicide whether it is because they do it accidentally while seeking attention or because they really are so distraught that they end it all.
By acting out, I mean they tend to harm others. Taking this to an extreme, they may kill other people. Usually it doesn’t go that far. But it does appear it often goes so far as very serious false criminal accusations, distortion and denigration campaigns to ruin the lives of others, and emotional and verbal abuse that often cause serious mental health problems to others. The problems from false allegations and defamation can get bad enough that they lead to false arrests, being financially ruined by massive legal bills, anxiety and depression disorders, PTSD, and sometimes even suicide because the people being subjected to these abuses can’t take being the targets of an “acting out” vindictive Borderline.
Again, not all people with BPD are like this. But there enough of them that they have managed to create a really bad stereotype.
Many of us who have had experiences living with people who have or appear to have BPD have gone through the “acting out” hell. So it’s natural to remember that first and foremost in our minds.
I agree with you that it is wrong to color everybody with BPD the same way. But the funny thing is that the folks with BPD who frequent the on-line discussions of BPD tend to be the ones who are not in denial and are making some progress dealing with their problems, or at least are trying to do so.
The ones who are in denial seem to be a bigger threat to the people around them. And hence it seems like they cause the most damage to others and create a stereotype of all Borderlines being incredibly destructive. But you don’t see them discussing BPD on-line, either. So they don’t get offended, even though they probably truly do deserve nasty stereotypes.
my experience of people with BPD is that they tend to be lovely sensitive people with a huge capacity for love. They are also in great pain and therefore sometimes do not always see things clearly and therefore also sometimes behave in ways that others do not understand.
I was a social worker for many years. My colleagues refused to work with so-called BPD’s—or complained a whole lot when they identified someone as such (I personally find labels damaging and wouldn’t use the label at all if I had a choice) I generally volunteered to work with these folks no one wanted to work with and they were my favorite clients.
My co-workers accused me of allowing myself to be manipulated. They could not otherwise imagine how I might like these people.
I cannot stand the way professionals speak of people with psychiatric disorders and that is why I will never work in the system as it is again. That is why I now get my tutelage from peers who have recovered
I was party to how we are talked about by the professionals. It’s disgusting.
Anyway…I’m glad you are growing and learning and it sounds like you must have some people in the system who treat you well. Good for you.
Peace.
I found your input so interesting because even though I am not suffering from BPD, I too have been judged and shunted from "friends" after I told them that I have PTSD. I am very afraid to tell anyone anymore that I am suffering from this disorder, because once I do you can bet people treat me differently, not good. I am female and met a great female friend, swapped relationship stories and such and I told her about my PTSD and that I was having a lot of guilt about the situation that caused my PTSD in the first place. She was very understanding at first, told me that I did nothing wrong and that I will get better in time. But, boy the first time I got stressed about a situation in my life, all of a sudden she has acted very differently towards me. Told me that she did not want to make me mad and has distanced herself from me. I think she has talked to her significant other about PTSD and as usual got some kind of info that people with PTSD will hurt others. What a bunch of baloney. I am so hurt and angry that I told her about my disorder, because every time I tell someone, it comes back to bite me. Whenever someone knows that I get angry or how dare I even state that someone gets me mad, these people really think that I will go crazy and actually physically hurt someone? It saddens me deeply that I am judged so negatively based on my disorder. I am sooo disappointed in my new friend that she now acts like this towards me. I think a real friend, upon realizing that I was stressed, and especially knowing that I suffer from PTSD, would have rather asked me what she could do to help me and perhaps just offered to talk about it. Why are people so stupid? And why am I so stupid to tell others?
Verloren
[...] Borderline Personality Disorder- Judgmental people piss me off- Borderline Personality Disorder DSM criteria explained- My new old favorite- Rage? Want to see a [...]